Raise your hand if any of the below quotes strike a nerve or resonate with you…
People ask me, “Why are you still single? You’re attractive, intelligent and creative.” My reply is, “I’m overqualified.”
“I’m SO GLAD that I don’t have to be in the dating scene anymore,” says your engaged/married friend.
The day a man makes me happier than chips, queso & a margarita is the day I’ll get married.
“How are you doing?” asks a concerned engaged/married friend on the status of your love life.
“Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life…” -Taylor Swift (Really a majority of her lyrics would work here.)
…both of my hands are raised, really high! If yours are too, I’m guessing that you fall into the same boat as me. Adulting is hard, ladies…don’t you agree?! Add dating to the equation of bills, work, exercise, cooking, cleaning and other daily life tasks and sometimes finding Mr. Right feels more like a chore than destiny. I’m 28 years old and definitely thought that by my late twenties I would “have it all”…the husband, the home, the career, the baby…you name it! But I don’t. I actually have none of those things…and that’s okay! Really, it is. Below are 5 lessons I’ve learned about about dating, love & relationships. I hope that you finish reading this article and say to yourself, “I’m okay, perhaps even joyful, that I am where I am today.” Also, there’s a giveaway detailed at the end of this post, so be sure to read all the way down! 🙂
Adulting 101: Five Lessons I’ve Learned About Dating, Love & Relationships
- Lesson #1: Know who you are and know who you aren’t. If you are self-aware and confident in who you are, you will know what you are looking for in a partner. For example, for me my faith plays a big role in who I am and trickles into every aspect of my life. I’ve learned that I could never be with someone that doesn’t share my Christian foundation and belief system. I also highly value friendliness, kindness, quality time with family & friends, and travel. If I’m dating someone that doesn’t share these attributes with me, I know it’s not a good match.
- Lesson #2: Use your precious time wisely. See any red flags in your current date? Get out soon! Don’t keep making excuses and end up staying in a dead-end relationship. One thing that makes me so frustrated is when I see girls settle with guys that they clearly are not happy with. Ask yourself, “Do I just like the attention I’m getting from this man or do I really like him? Am I just staying in this relationship because I’m afraid to be single and start over?” My advice is to break things off early if you see red flags and instead invest in relationships (this includes friendships!) that you really care about.
- Lesson #3: Is my purpose and identity in life to be married or in a romantic relationship? No, a resounding no! If it is, then I’ve surely wasted the past few years. A few lies I always catch myself believing are, “My life will be better, more happy and less lonely, when I’m dating someone or married.” ER…WRONG! Another person will never fulfill or complete you. They can compliment you, but if your happiness depends on someone else, you are bound for disappointment.
Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to be sad.
- Lesson #4: Finding someone later in life has it’s benefits. I’m not broke and directly out of college with little to no real life experience. My financial health is in a good place. I am okay with going places and doing things by myself…I don’t need someone by my side. I know how to make friends…it’s actually a lot like dating! I’ll have a community and network outside of my significant other’s community. I know what it’s like to be single and won’t alienate, pity, or belittle other single people. I will cherish it more.
- Lesson #5: I will not dwell on the fact that I’m single. STOP THE PITY PARTIES. (I’m saying this to myself, too!) Every time I start to feel sorry for myself (usually after looking through social media), I spin into a downward spiral of jealousy and anxiousness. I think, “Why am I still single? Is there something wrong with me? Will I never find someone?” BLAH! Stop those thoughts in their tracks! If you find yourself in the same situation, I recommend 1.) turning off your phone/computer, 2.) remembering who you are…you are a beautiful, strong, beloved & smart lady, and 3.) know that your significance does NOT come from your significant other.
I hope that these five lessons can help you say with confidence, “I’m okay, perhaps even joyful, that I am where I am today.” If you’re not there today, maybe you will be tomorrow or the day after that. Hey, we all have our days ;).
Last but certainly not least is the details of my giveaway with the wonderful and creative Colleen from Pinwheel Print Shop! She makes hilarious and sweet cards, prints, calendars and more.
Check out the below items (valued at $24) that you have the chance to win this week! Details on how to enter can be found below.
How to Enter
- Like the Instagram giveaway post on my page.
- Follow me (@ByTravelandError ) & Colleen (@PinwheelPrintShop) on Instagram.
- Tag 1 friend in the giveaway post on Instagram!
- OPTIONAL EXTRA ENTRIES: Tag additional friends for extra entries on my Instagram giveaway post. (Separate comment for each tag please.)
You have until Wednesday, March 8th at midnight EST to enter! The winner will be announced on Thursday! Only applicants in the United States are eligible to win.
Thank you again to Colleen from Pinwheel Print Shop for running this giveaway in partnership with By Travel & Error!